I went my own way with this one--probably not where you intend for the readers to go--and smelled a certain smoke in the air. A haze ever filled with ideas and lofty plans. A vivid write, Shawn. Nicely done!
Hiya, Those waves of glee appealed to me. In fact the entire scene was fresh and novel, and I could see myself standing in the huge garage we had when we lived in upstate new york.Couldn't quite understand the bake in sadness phrase. Nice to hear you read it.
Some wonderful images in here.
ReplyDeletenice...i really like the textures you were able to get in this shawn...and i always make something of nothing...smiles...
ReplyDeleteI went my own way with this one--probably not where you intend for the readers to go--and smelled a certain smoke in the air. A haze ever filled with ideas and lofty plans. A vivid write, Shawn. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteI could feel the granules of sand crunch beneath my feet. Well done, Shawn.
ReplyDeleteThis is a perfect little portrait poem... I love the impressions that immediately came to mind. Nice note on the ending as well.
ReplyDeleteNice write!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant move adding the voice, as it gives added feeling to words I might've otherwise passed by. A great read and write.
ReplyDeleteI like, especially being able to read and listen at the same time. Love the line with the sand and G aliteration. Very strong.
ReplyDeletedig the aesthetics all around...shared it
ReplyDeleteideas born out of nothing...those are the ones that grow and grow and grow...nicely penned shawn
ReplyDeleteHiya, Those waves of glee appealed to me. In fact the entire scene was fresh and novel, and I could see myself standing in the huge garage we had when we lived in upstate new york.Couldn't quite understand the bake in sadness phrase. Nice to hear you read it.
ReplyDeleteSad about the sadness, but a great capture of a very singular moment.
ReplyDelete